‘Bullying is soul-destroying’

Tamanna Miah

Tamanna Miah is 22 and in her third year at university, but still carries the emotional and physical scars from the racial bullying she suffered throughout primary and secondary school.

Her family are from Bangladesh and she grew up in Sevenoaks, Kent, where she was the only non-white child in her primary school. The bullying started almost as soon as she began school, she says, around the age of four.

“I was the only Asian kid in my area and in my school. People used to bully me for my looks, my skin colour ... they did everything to make my life hell. They called me names, put sticks and rubbish and chewing gum in my hair. They would chase me and throw things at me. They pushed me off a wall. Even today I’ve still got the marks on my leg from when that happened. Staff often ignored it. They would say I was being silly, that I was making it up.”

Miah was so unhappy at school her parents had to drive her there “kicking and screaming”; she would pretend to be ill and try to hide to avoid going to school. She began to lose confidence in the way she looked and used her mother’s skin products to try to lighten her skin so she would “fit in” with her peers.

Bullying has changed her life, she says. “It’s soul-destroying, it really is. I know how much I suffered and I wouldn’t want anyone else to go through it. I suffered severe depression and anxiety as a result. I was so isolated.

“I had no confidence, I had no self-esteem. I couldn’t talk to my parents and my teachers didn’t understand. I felt suicidal a lot of the time.”

Far from school being a safe haven, Miah believes children feel particularly vulnerable there, and that teachers don’t realise how much of an impact experiences of bullying have on a child’s wellbeing.

“You should be feeling safe – you spend such a lot of your life at school. But you are open to so much there. You’re meeting other young people. You have to be there. You are there on a daily basis.”

Miah believes her grades suffered as a result of the bullying, which was a constant distraction from her studies. Now she campaigns on issues surrounding bullying and has made a film to show what it’s like to be a victim.

“These days schools do have more policies in place but it’s almost like bullying is a normal part of childhood. We need to break out of that. It’s not normal. I don’t think people realise how detrimental it is.”

> TED talk given by Tamanna: click HERE!

> Tamanna's video: click HERE!

> "Agir contre le harcèlement à l'école" (short film in French): click HERE!

> Article on bullying from theguardian: click HERE!